Making the invisible visible

Imagine living in pain all day long, some days better than others but constantly being in pain. Imagine always being tired even after you had your 8 hours of sleep. Now imagine that being real for hundreds of thousands of individuals, they suffer an illness that is invisible to doctors. I thought it was time for me to share my story. I suffer with a chronic condition only known to few, fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about a year ago. I’ve been experiencing the pains associated with fibromyalgia since I’ve been in diapers but it wasn’t till November 2012 when it shook my world. I was sick in bed from the flu, but my bad case of the flu had left me never being the same. I wasn’t too worried at first but within a week I wasn’t able to get up from the incredible pain that spread from my lower back to the very tip of my toes leaving me like a helpless rag doll. For those who are unfamiliar with the term let me take a brief second to shed some light on fibromyalgia and explain a little bit about the pain associated with it. Fibromyalgia: It varies from patient to patient but for most it’s an unexplained pain throughout the whole body causing weakness in the joints and bones. So how exactly does it feel to live with fibromyalgia? Well like I said earlier it varies from person to person and even day to day and that could be the exact reason why doctors find it hard to classify it as an illness. But the best way I can put it is, imagine your body is a paper that is crumble up into a ball and you just want to stretch it out but you can’t due to all the pain, some days the pain feel like a hammer shattering your bones other days its feels like you’re lit on fire while being stabbed by millions of micro sized needles. Ouch! After being in bed for a week or two my mom decided we best go to the doctor (after I insisted we don’t), to my disappointment the doctor told me it was all in my head and with frustration I went in to my dark hole of pain. A couple days later my doctor gave us a call saying to come in right away for a blood test. Well did they test me…That one blood test flipped my life around, day in and day out I was a living example of a genuine pig. It took 3 incorrect diagnostic, 6 visits to the hospital, 8 visits to my doctor and 22 medical test to finally find out what was wrong with me.  For 2 years I had doors slammed in my face and doctors rejecting my calls, but when I was finally diagnosed with fibro it wasn’t tears of denial but rather tears of joy, it was relief to know that the pain I was experiencing was associated with something. The worst part of me being diagnosed with fibromyalgia wasn’t that it was incurable but more the fact that I couldn’t tell a soul because they wouldn’t understand an illness that was labeled as “fake” according to doctors. It was a secret between the specialist who diagnosed me, my mom and me,and we kept it like that for several months. I couldn’t explain to my friends my absents due to my pains or the fact why I was falling asleep even after I slept early the night before or simply why I couldn’t play a little game of soccer. Almost everything and anything made me tired whether it was driving, hanging out with my friends or watching a movie. To add to that the pain increased and spread like a wildfire throughout my whole body making it difficult to do simple tasks. I never realized  how much I took for granted until every little task became painful to do because of the chronic pain. Before I could collect myself I fell into the same dark hole of stress, anxiety and depression and I slowly started breaking apart. Here’s the thing with fibromyalgia its incurable meaning once you have it you have it forever, there are medication to reduce the pain but nothing to make it go away. I was put on 4 different medications for my fibromyalgia and none of them worked. The only medication that helped me was my faith. My relationship with God had strengthen and with that God had made my experience with fibromyalgia most bearable. An old friend of mine once told me God gives hardships to his strongest soldiers and I want to thank that friend who taught me to be strong and had my back during my rough times. Though at the time I didn’t understand why I had gone through so much within the past 4 months but now that I look back at it I’m grateful to have been surrounded by the great circle of friends and family and I want to thank each every great soul that have crossed in my path, whether we have drifted apart or not (I honestly don’t know where I would be without you all). I’m doing a lot better now though there are times when I can’t control my cringing hands, or my slumber hours in class and I don’t know if I’ll ever be 100% better but at this moment I’m living. I’m on a journey that might not ever end but I want to thank all my friends and family for understanding, thank you for being patient with me and especially a big thank you to my amazing mother who has suffered a lot for me, she is truly God’s gift to me. Thank you mom for being by my side when I had no one, thank you for keeping me well fed when I denied to eat, thank you for rushing me into the hospital on those late nights, thank you for paying for those expensive hospital bills and medications, and most importantly thank you for not giving up on me. The purpose of sharing my story isn’t for piety (in fact save your tears), I chose to share this with you all because I want to remind everyone that in life we face many different hardships and we tend to forget the things we have in front of us. Everyday is a challenge but you won’t get anywhere if you let yourself give up, defeat odds and just live. Thank you once again for it wasn’t easy sharing this but if I can save one life than I have accomplished my goal. Please kindly share this and check out the sites below.                        Help fibromyalgia be visible.


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